Reply to Changing the name of an internationally adoped child

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Changing the name of an internationally adoped child"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You people are so judgmental...

Changing a child's name is common practice in international adoption... whether it's an infant or a 7-year-old, it doesn't make a difference.

Americanization... happens. The child is no longer in his birth country, he can no longer speak his native tongue, he lives in a world of different smells, food, clothes, customs, sometimes even religion... so the name change, in that context, is but one small thing on the top of everything else. How parents approach it is key to how the child takes it.

From a parent's perspective, changing the child's name is an additional way to bond with him or her. It's not about love being conditional; it's about the human process of bonding with a child who did not come out of one's womb and who lived in another part of the world for 7 years.

And the name change is always a very exciting part of adoption, as it marks one's "claiming" by a family. For the child it's like a rite of passage...

"Let her decide whether she wants to change her name" seems to be a recurrent idea. HELLO?! She's 7 YEARS-OLD. Of course she will have an opinion, but chances are high that she will either 1- accept to please her parents; 2- refuse because she is overwhelmed by changes or 3- have an unreasonable idea.

So by all means, if you want to change your child's name, do it.

I am speaking from personal experience. I am adoption an older girl from Ethiopia and intend on taking the same approach.[/quote]

If you are in the process of adopting an older child from Ethiopia, and good luck getting through MOWA, there is no need for your child to lose his/her language in its entirety.  The Washington DC area has the largest Ethiopian diaspora outside of Minnesota, and the language is spoken throughout this area.

Yes, your older child might have something to say with you wanting to get rid of his/her prior existence with the stroke of a pen.  Why not allow the name the birth family gave the child become the middle name.  How would you feel if after answering to the name Sue Ellen for eight years, you are now told or asked to respond Betty Jean.  On top of Betty Jean you are to learn everything anew as if you are a newborn.  As an eight year old there may be some conflicting emotions with that change.

By the way, the changing of an older child's name is not a rite of passage in adoption.  Perhaps you should go on the big Yahoo board and ask how many people who have actually adopted older children changed the name.  And, of those who changed their older child's name, how many had a smooth transition with the process.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics