Reply to Changing the name of an internationally adoped child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Again, as an adoptive parent who follows these issues in part through contact with adult international adoptees, I have heard that it doesn't matter who gave her the name.  The issue is that this is the name she carried for her whole life (or at least most of it).  There are real losses and messages associated with changing it.  Right now, she may be eager to please her new family, but adoption, while not traumatic by any means, is something that is part of an adoptee's life forever.  There is not one way adoptees react to these issues and the issues are there.[/quote]

I too am an adoptive parent and you are missing the point.  Children very well may want to shed a generic orphanage name that was nothing more than a means of identification and perhaps for them identification of a not quite so great past. Not every name is well thought and planned. you can't appreciate this because you received your name from parents who loved and cared about you. When you receive your name from an institution it doesn't quite hold the same meaning.

Adoption is always a loss but it's in degrees and variations for every child so you can't make a blanket statment that says every adopted child will mourn the loss of their first name no more than you can make a blanket statement that all adoptive children will search for their birthparents.  In adoption, there are no absolutes.[/quote]

I agree with this (the adoptive parent and adult adoptee here).  My name was given to me by the adoption agency- it doesn't really mean anything to me.  I do know my last name really was my birth father's last name, but in Korea, this is a VERY common name (there are only a handful of Korean last names) so it's not like it uniquely identifies me as part of their family.  I never felt a loss being adopted, but I know others have. My twin sister has never, ever wanted to find our birth parents.  She's just not interested.  She has no problem with being adopted but it doesn't impact her the way it does for others.  [/quote]

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