Reply to I just learned about tribe gaslighting and more people should know about it!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m not sure I understand. If they haven’t observed this, why is their saying “that’s not something I’ve experienced” gaslighting? I mean—if I know someone who’s always funny and kind, and someone tells me they are rude and rage-filled, I’m not lying if I say “he’s not that way with me.” Or if I don’t think certain comments are a big deal—it’s a subjective statement that I don’t think they are a big deal. You do, so that’s an issue, but it’s not wrong if I say I don’t think they are.

You don’t need validation from coworkers if you don’t like what someone is saying. HR or the general counsel should/would take it seriously. [/quote]

I agree. And to be clear, I make a distinction between what the OP is describing and what is described in the article. If something derisive is said in a staff meeting and colleagues deny it happened or minimize it is something very different than being cornered by someone at a party who wants to tell you how terrible their sibling is even though you've never seen it or witnessed it yourself.

That said, I've seen a form of this where someone who was an assistant to a high-ranking individual in our organization would always insist that X person, who had a terrible reputation, was always nice to her. She didn't like it when it was pointed out that was almost certainly the case because of HER position.[/quote]

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