Reply to What have you learned about your own upbringing by becoming a parent?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How neglectful and abusive my parents were. [/quote]

This.[/quote]

I had a "nice" childhood. We decorated christmas cookies. Went to summer camp. had a dog. It wasn't until I had kids that I realized my parents were emotionally absent for my entire childhood. I am very grateful for my children for an opportunity to both parent them but also re-parent myself. Learning to sit with my feelings. Feel them. Treat them with kindness. and learning that I am worthy without doing anything. I tried to earn their emotional support by being a "good" kid and nothing was good enough. It's exhausting. I am so much happier now but did have to mourn and grieve the relationship I wish I had with them. Now when I see them I stick to tactical topics like "hand me the butter" or "I am taking the dog out" and do not share anything about my personal life (about my job, health etc). It is so much better and less triggering that way. Sending love to all you parents going through something similar. [/quote]

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