Reply to Husband Wants Me To Stop Co-Sleeping.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband and I have an amazing 1 year old son. He’s the best little guy and has made our lives so much better. My husband 
is an amazing dad. I would love to start trying for a second but my husband said not until I change my current situation.

Our son has always been a great sleeper. We started with The Snoo and then co-sleeping. I had issues with breastfeeding and used co-sleeping as a way to get that bond that I  missed out on with breastfeeding. Our son has slept 8-7 since 3/4 months old and doesn’t need to eat during the night. He is able to sleep by himself and has many times. [u]He doesn’t have any of the issues like breastfeeding all night or not sleeping that most women experience and end up co-sleeping. [/u]

My husband is a very deep sleeper and was not comfortable sleeping in the bed with my me and the baby. He has been sleeping in the guest room for six months. Our relationship has suffered because of it. He’s a very affectionate person and has told me he feels like I’m not putting enough attention into our relationship. He told me he is not wiling to start trying for another child until I stop co-sleeping. I understand where he is coming from but I love the co-sleeping. I’m upset that he is giving me an ultimatum. I’m very hurt and feel like he isn’t taking my feelings into consideration. I don’t know if I should give up co-sleeping. What would you do? 
[/quote]

[b]Also I want to add with the underlined that cosleeping is judged heavily in the West. It is the norm in a lot of other places/countries/cultures. Babies are not meant to be separated from their mother for extended periods of time[/b]. I think that breastfeeding issues and frequent wakings make it easier for women to cosleep because it allows them a reason besides just wanting to be close to their children. If you work full-time and baby goes to sleep from 8-7, you have 4 hours tops with your kid on top of cleaning, dinner, errands, etc.

My son just started back at part-time playschool after 6 months of being with us at home. He has expressed lots of sadness about missing mommy and daddy and our dog and his grandma (who lives with us) and was exceptionally needy for the first week or so. He had previously been sleeping in his own bed but asked to sleep in our bed. We allowed it and within a week or so, he went back to his own bed. He just needed to reconnection.

On the same point, your husband needs connection too. Im not sure why it has to happen at night but you all should explore that together. [/quote]

Kids in cultures where co-sleeping is common don’t necessarily co-sleep with the parents after infancy.   These cultures also tend to have multigenerational households   The toddler would sleep with grandma so mom and dad could get time together.  [/quote]

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