Reply to Adjusting unrealistic expectations with grandparents as a mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I honestly don't get what the problem here is and why it's bothering you, and I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill. Why are you making a big deal about this? If your kids had no involved grandparents in their lives, I would understand your disappointment, but they have your parents. If you thought your MIL was the most amazing person in the world and you thought your kids were missing out by not being close to her, ok maybe that makes sense. If your kids adored her but she rejected their overtures, I could see being upset on their behalf.

But it's not these things. It sounds like you have a very strong need to be liked, and your MIL's lack of attention has *you* feeling insecure about her feelings about you and your children. In that case, you're being silly. If she's like this with everyone, it has nothing to do with you or your kids. Alternatively, maybe you feel sad on DH's behalf that she's not the kind of mother you think he deserves? If this is the case, harping on her lack of attention can only make him feel worse.

Either way, you're making this about you. It's not. [/quote]

Yes. All of this. I’m guessing she can feel you judging her about a hundred other things. There’s no one way to be a grandparent. [/quote]

I agree - MIL probably can sense DIL's attitude.

OP said:
"We only talk to her when I prod DH to calling her." ... AND ... "I reach out to her a lot"

Which is it?  When her role/responsibility in this relationship is questioned, then OP seems to change her story to make herself look better.

[/quote]

I'm the OP. We only speak to her on FaceTime when DH calls her. I reach out to her often via text and email. So, it's both. Nobody is "changing" their story. This isn't a very special episode of Law & Order.[/quote]

Why can’t you FaceTime with the kids? Or better yet, have the kids FaceTime.  You seem standoffish if you only communicate thru text/email.  Almost like you don’t really want to talk to her.  [/quote]

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