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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Meeting boyfriend's kid"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] How old are you ? I wouldn’t contemplate doing this Intl you 110% convinced you want to stay. I’d say a year at least [/quote] We're both 35. I've never been married no kids[/quote] Definitely don't meet the kid before 6 months. And don't meet the kid until you're certain you want to live with the kid long term. If you're serious about this, maybe do some research into developmentally appropriate child behavior, especially following the trauma of divorce (and yes it's a trauma even if everyone's telling you it's fine). Many a relationship has been torpedoed by the childless partner's unrealistic expectations. Get ready for tantrums, aggravation, annoyance, perseveration, bad restaurants, and copious expenses.[/quote] I’m a mom, and I’m now engaged. My fiancé met my child super early in our relationship because something came up and it was unavoidable (I needed to go to the ER after a minor car accident and there wasn’t anyone else to take me, my kid was with me and kids dad lives several states away). Looking back, I hate the advice that no one should meet a partners kid until they’re 100% sure they want to live with that child. How can you know that before you’ve met the child? How can you know you want to marry someone before meeting their child? How can you know you want to live with someone and share their responsibilities when you haven’t been introduced to what that might be like? My fiancé is now a 50% parenting partner with me, and it took a LONG time for us to get there because I didn’t want him or my child to form too close an attachment before we knew the relationship was permanent, but I never would have known that I wanted to marry him if I hadn’t seen him interact with my child and known that [b]he was up to the challenge of helping raise the kid.[/b] My ex is a complete of oxygen and carbon though, so I refuse to marry someone [b]who doesn’t intend to be a full parenting partner because I can’t do it on my own and I had been doing it on my own (with a toxic ex who undermines me at every opportunity), and I can’t be a full partner to a spouse who isn’t a full partner to me[/b]. [/quote] You sound like a user who places a ton of responsibility on the man who didn't even father your kid. I wonder what your fiance gets out of your relationship?[/quote]
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