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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
And again...two wrongs and all that.[/quote]

But neither side is acting (intentionally) to “wrong” their spouse. Both parties are doing what they need to do without any specific intent to harm/wrong the other. So your cliche does not apply. [/quote]

This actually gets to what I think is the problem here.

One wrong is a passive wrong. Sex rarely stops because one person thinks to themselves 'i would like to not have sex with my spouse anymore.' It is gradual and usually a symptom of other problems. That doesn't mean its not wrong, but it is not a single choice, it is a million choices made every day that end up with that result.

Cheating is a single choice and a single action and it is easily defined as wrong. I actually think this gives the low drive spouse room to hide a bit because it is so less able to be defined as wrong.

You are giving too much benefit to both sides. A person who withdraws from their spouse and doesn't do anything to fix it HAS done something wrong. Framing it as all about the sex is what is wrong, because the sex is just a symptom of the wrong.

A person has cheated has also done something wrong.

And it isn't a platitude it is a truth, doing something wrong just because someone wronged you is not right. Breaking up is a choice that is always available to both parties. When either side chooses to hurt the other instead, they have done something wrong, regardless of the reasons why and who started it. [/quote]

Disagree. OP has stated (essentially) she does not view sex as a priority for her or the marriage. And I totally believe her! She is certainly NOT doing this to wrong/harm her husband.

Likewise, when he finds a sex partner elsewhere, he is simply taking his wife for her word: sex isn't important to his wife or to their marriage. So he cannot wrong or harm her when he does some unimportant thing with another woman.[/quote]

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