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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, the way you tell this... I just don't know.

I guess I'm on Team Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right, but IDK.

I will say here that I am someone who basically finds punishment ineffective and problematic and doesn't use it. I'm also really forgiving and understanding of developmentally normal behavior.

At the same time, this was pretty yikes-worthy behavior on the part of your son, and your dismissive (I hope just defensive?) attitude is not a good sign.

I don't agree with the coach's response in principle, though I know I can't stop everyone from using "consequences" (aka punishment) and so I teach my kid how to live in a world with them.

But if this is part of the coach's arsenal, I don't find it to be necessarily extreme or humiliating. I don't think it's too likely to be effective, either, but I do think the coach basically:

-Gave the kids a reasonable assignment (I don't think learning names, even while kicking a ball, is babyish?)

-Found that one kid wasn't "getting it"

-Offered another solution-- maybe his toned sucked, IDK, but he did offer your son another way to approach it

-Was responded to not only rudely (this is unusual behavior IMO toward a new/strange adult) but told essentially that *learning teammates' names* was unimportant.

I get that you recognize that your son's response was at least "stupid," and I get that some kids lash out when they're having anxiety (does your son have memory/attention problems?) But the coach at the very least can't let that kind of statement go unaddressed.

But if we're assigning blame, this is really almost exclusively in your son's court here. And that's from someone who finds the coach's response problematic.

[/quote]

I guess what I'm saying, OP, is what would you have preferred? I don't love the "make him run laps" thing, but at the very least, he would have had to have your son step out of the circle, because he wasn't participating, and then talk to him later.

Did you think he should have laughed it off? Or interrupt the activity right then to talk to your son? Or do you worry there will be a bad association with running laps or something?[/quote]

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