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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Just to clarify...since I'm concerned you might think I was a troll! (if only this was a fake situation....)
[quote=Anonymous]This sounds like trolling. You say you've seen firsthand what happens to a morbidly obese parent,[b] but you think your sister ... hasn't? [/b]I'm not sure why you're [b]"stunned" that she put on extra weight[/b] during a pandemic in which gyms are closed and everyone is stressed out. She's been overweight for 10+ years and is short, so it makes sense that she might continue to gain weight.

Assuming you are in your 40s or so, this is the age when people start to develop health issues: breast and colon cancers, high blood pressure, arthritis, bone loss, autoimmune diseases. Some you can see and some you can't. Some are lifestyle issues, but most are genetic. Menopause does a number on many women. Parents are getting old, maybe dementia, Parkinson's, hearing loss. It's depressing as shit if you let it get to you, so just calm down and love your sister for who she is and be grateful for the good health that you enjoy today. 
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No, I didn't say (or mean to imply) that my sister hasn't any idea of how morbid obesity impacted our parent. I mentioned my experience with the obese parent's health decline to provide the context of why I find it difficult to see a loved one so overweight--it is because I would not want her quality of life to suffer in the same way. (Strokes can be awful :cry: )
Second, I don't mean 'stunned' in terms of being incredulous that she gained weight during the pandemic...it is easy to understand that the pandemic's disruption/stress can have negative effects like this. The stunning thing was noticing the degree of weight gain since I've last seen her in person. The photos showed her full body in front of other family members, which made her current size clear, and since we've mostly FaceTimed over the last year or so, I hadn't seen that before. So it wasn't that I was incredulous that she'd gained weight, but that there was such a dramatic difference, which gave me a worried emotion that I describe as stunned.
Finally, I do agree with you about middle age, menopause, possibly genetic aspect, and focusing on the overall goal of just being supportive and loving. Since other PPs have pointed out the overwhelming difficulty of losing weight, that was helpful for me to understand that it's probably a struggle to address her weight even if she has been actively trying, and how utterly discouraging it might be. I learned from having the obese parent (who was not as obese as my sister has become) that pleading or bringing it up often doesn't work, nor do well-intentioned efforts to help like getting nice/fun workout gear. She's got to drive the change herself. I highly doubt my sister has trauma, but whatever the underlying issue, things must be difficult for her, so my concern for her health has now been been eclipsed, or perhaps balanced, by concerns that she needs overall supportiveness, and a plan to do that as best as I can. No critiques or judgment. 
Overall, many of these responses have been just the kind of help I was hoping for from DCUM. Helping me translate my concerns into something other than worry or inappropriate action. Hopefully showing more care and general support towards her will enrich our relationship as well. Thanks, PPs. :)

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