Reply to If you were a stepparent who divorced, did you feel used by your spouse and stepkid(s)?

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Reply to "If you were a stepparent who divorced, did you feel used by your spouse and stepkid(s)?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Issues will ALWAYS crop up with stepkids. My advice is to never marry someone who has children - ever.  No matter what you wind up subsidizing those kids somehow, some way, some day.  And you WILL feel used.

My SO decided to voluntarily continue with "child" support for two years AFTER his requirement to do so. From ages 21-23  he paid it directly to his daughter.  She did not need the money as she is a trust fund baby and her education was completely paid for, as were all her other living expenses including her own apartment, utilities, car/insurance, etc.  She admittedly told us she was spending an additional $1,000 per month on "socializing" which was the amount he was paying her.

If we were married or had co-mingled finances I would have been livid. As it was, he was living in my home and paying me some "rent" as others have mentioned but it was well below what market value would have been in the DC area.  (He had been paying $2300 in rent at an apt. and paid me $750 to live in a single-family home, inclusive of all utilities including cable.)

He would not have been able to pay his DD $1,000 in party money every month if I had not, indirectly, subsidized his living expenses. Nor would he have been able to provide her the expensive gifts he gave her over the years, like overseas vacations, latest electronics, designer clothes, jewelry, etc. No surprise I still harbor resentment over that!

Point is that once someone has kids there will be issues for the rest of your life.  And many times you won't just feel used - you WILL be used.  Don't expect any thanks for it either.

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Why on earth did you choose this man as a partner if you don't like how he handles his money or his relationship with his daughter?[/quote]

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