Reply to Two types of parents. Which are you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think the kids' relative sizes and ages are the important part. For me the issue is that both kids deserve to be respected by the other one. If it were me, I would have gently intervened when the 6yo was ignoring the 9yo requests to be left alone. That's not okay behavior, no matter someone's size. If someone says "leave me alone" or "give me space", you should respect that request.

But then I also would not be okay with the 9yo retaliating by pushing the other boy to the ground. I'd probably says something like, "I understand why you were upset and [6yo] should have listened when you asked him to leave you alone. But pushing him isn't the best response because you could hurt him and we don't hurt people. What are some other ways to handle this?" And then see if we could identify some options for resolution that don't involve pushing (i.e. asking an adult to intervene, moving to another part of the playground that the other kid can't reach, etc.).

For what it's worth, I was raised with the dictates not to push people smaller than me AND not to pester kids who are bigger than me (I was a middle child). [/quote]

I agree.  Also, it depends on which kid is my kid.  I'm going to tell my kid not to pester others, and I'm going to tell her not to overreact if someone is pestering her, especially someone younger.  It's a bit like the idea that someone being rude to you doesn't give you license to be rude (or ruder) back -- you are responsible for your own behavior, and other people misbehaving isn't an excuse to misbehave yourself.  [/quote]

Good point. This is sometimes a frustration on the playground. I've had situations where my kid has done annoying things to other kids (like sat at the top of the slide for a long time, not going down but not letting anyone else go either), and another kid has retaliated by pushing or yelling at her before I could address it. Then I'm in the position of talking to my kid about being respectful of others on the playground and moving to the side if you're not using something so others can use. Meanwhile, the parents or nannies of the pushing/yelling kids say nothing. It's frustrating.

I think in this situation, since the woman was in charge of both kids, even if they weren't both [i]her[/i] kid, she should have addressed both behaviors.[/quote]

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