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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a sister who is 8 years younger than me. She is cute but often compares herself to the way I look and wonders why she doesn’t look as conventionally beautiful. Thing is, she doesn’t know that I had work done on my face (she was young when I got it done and parents are dead so no one there to tell her how different I look). I’ve been deflecting and telling her she is gorgeous and will grow into her looks like I did, but I wonder if this is unfair to her. I really don’t want to tell her about the work done though because she is not good at keeping a secret. But I also care a lot about her and don’t want her to think of herself as the less attractive sister. How should I deal with this? [/quote]

OP, here's the thing.  Despite fervently wishing to be beautiful, most people have a pretty accurate assessment on where they fall on the beauty scale.  No we aren't "all beautiful".  No we won't all grow into our looks.  If someone tells us we're gorgeous, and we're really not, we know it.  And we also know where we stand in the relation to others around us.  And you know what? We have to mentally maneuver ourselves into a spot where this is all OK.  Meaning we are OK with our level of attractiveness, whatever it is.

The thing is, if she's a less attractive sister, then she is.  So what? Do people not deserve to live if they are less attractive than you?  Tell your sister to go to the courthouse one day and watch people ten times uglier get marriage licenses by the fistful.  We can have a fulfilling life even if we're less attractive than our siblings.

Now if you want to gently guide her to what you think works for her face and body, you should.  If you want to gently mention plastic surgery as one of the tools she has to get better looking, you can.  But you absolutely do not owe her any information about what you've done to your face.

Here's how to deal with it: when she starts whining again, tell her sternly that you're tired of that crap, and that people ten times uglier than her have happier lives than her because they are not such damn whiners.  Don't tell her she's gorgeous or grow to her looks or deflect, tell her she knows what she looks like, and you won't discuss that any more, unless she asks for specific styling or haircut advice.  Enough with the indulgence.  Enough with feeding the millennial insistence that they are all so special and gorgeous and unique. Because guess what? People are more similar than they are unique, most people are average in looks, and that all in no way stands in the way of personal fulfillment or happiness.   [/quote]

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