Reply to How to tell my friend grappling with infertility that I’m pregnant?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hide it. I know it’s your third, but can you hide it? Then tell her much closer to the due date via email. [/quote]

This is bad advice.  I would be more hurt if my good friend didn't tell me.  And it is nothing that op did that should be shameful.    Op didn't have choose to have a third kid to hurt anyone  I  understand being kind and respectful but, I think it is getting ridiculous.  Op is allowed to feel joy and happiness and yes even show sonograms pictures if she choose on her Facebook!

My Sister in law experienced a still birth while I was pregnant.  At the funeral for the baby she asked me if I was going to have another child.  Are you telling me I should have lied and said no?  Was it painful for her   Of course  But, I didn't gloat and say ha ha i'm pregnant!    I felt terrible for her and her husband!  I just answered I'm pregnant.

I know I am going to get flack but, I can handle it  And yes, I am very close with my sister in law.  [/quote]

Don’t think anyone has remotely said that OP shouldn’t show joy and happiness, or that she should be ashamed. She asked how to avoid hurting her friend, and has had people telling her of their experiences and what would have been least hurtful to them.

Your situation was completely different. I really don’t think most people here are advocating lying. Just being sensitive about how you tell.

I am so sorry for your family’s loss.[/quote]

Thank you pp for your sympathy. However this one person gave the impression that op shouldn't be joyful:

[b] “I am pregnant and due in January. I’m not going to be a chatterbox about it in person or on social media, but I wanted to tell you in case it gets around. We love you guys and I’m here for whatever.”[[/b][/quote]

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