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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As someone who is dating a divorced dad of two teen boys....this makes me sad. I’m wondering what I can do to avoid having similar dynamics develop? His kids are polite to me which is about the best I hope for as I think it’s hard for people to like their parent’s partner.[/quote]

Encourage your boyfriend to spend time with his kids WITHOUT you.  It doesn't need to be all the time, but definitely make an effort to allow that to happen.  If you are glued to their dad, it will effect their relationship with him.  If you move in with the dad, also try to sometimes step back and let them be a family of 3 *sometimes* without getting your panties in a bunch.[/quote]

You are somewhat better off because your BF has two sons. I think for women dating a man with teen daughter(s) it creates a very complex and challenging dynamic that is usually fraught with problems.

We did all the "right" things, including as PP said, making sure he had time with kids alone, did special things alone with each of them, took vacations alone with them and when they came to our home, I always tried to find things to do in the kitchen or elsewhere so they could have time to just sit and talk with each other without me around.

None of it mattered. His son came around and I can say we developed a somewhat friendly/polite relationship but his daughter made it clear from the beginning she was jealous and had no interest in getting to know me as a person, nor would she even look at me when I tried to initiate a conversation with her.

She still doesn't look at me to this day.  She is now married with her own child.  She is very happy her father has accepted her husband and he has tried to get to know the guy, despite the fact her husband is a gun-toting Trumper whose father is a multi-convicted felon, and she is financially supporting both of them.  Nonetheless, my DH has tried to be supportive of her choice and he has spoken more with her husband than she has ever spoken to me.

At this point, I have been in her father's life (and her life) longer than he was with her mother.  Yet she has never, not once, looked me in the eye nor has she asked me anything about myself other than a bland, "Hello, how are you?" as she walks away from me when she first arrives.  She has never once spoken my name to me. Not once.

I guess I made the mistake since I had a stepmother myself and I did like her as a person; I expected the same would eventually happen for me. Totally unrealistic. I now understand that I was the one out of line in thinking that my DH's daughter would eventually warm up and want to give me a chance. She owes me nothing and has given me nothing.  So be it.

[/quote]

Maybe she just doesn't like you.  Maybe you're actually an annoying person!  Who knows why.  But she doesn't have to like you just because her father chose you.  [/quote]

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