Reply to When teen says something that is really damaging to relationship

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In general he is not a touchy kid. Never has been. My concern and hurt is that when I tried to clarify with him about it he upped it to sexual assault. It was just so out of the realm of normal to me and it did upset me. A lot. It wasn’t sexual. It was (and turned out to be) a tick on his leg. It does warrant further discussion but maybe I am not ready yet since my mind is still reeling. We went from joking around the fire to him accusing me of sexually assaulting him. Perhaps I shouldn’t have left early but I felt uncomfortable and he definitely felt uncomfortable so it seemed like the best thing for both of us. [/quote]

So much to unpack here...

You're getting defensive, OP.  We are all telling you that you're being way too dramatic and instead of taking a step back and examining whether you are overreacting, you dig down further and perpetuate the drama.  Your "mind is still reeling?"  How many days ago did this happen?? I get that it's upsetting, but many conflicts are.  Leaving the family camping trip early because you felt uncomfortable is ridiculous.  Go get some air and take a breather if you need it, but you shouldn't have left entirely.  Get some perspective.

Of course trying to brush a tick off your DS' leg isn't sexual, and the fact that he went there instead of just telling you to leave him alone should tell you that he may not understand what sexual assault is.  Instead of taking it SO personally, focus instead on how he clearly doesn't understand what he's saying.

Lastly, if you know your kid isn't a touchy kid, and you took it upon yourself to touch him anyway, you need to understand that he may not like it and may get angry about it. When people get angry, they may say things they don't mean.  It doesn't matter if you were trying to save him from a tick or not.  Respect his wishes to not be touched.

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