Reply to How to handle - DS being made fun of for not being good at sports

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[quote=Anonymous]Our DS is now 16, we went through this and it doesn’t have a happy ending (although not terrible, either).

DS was very slim, on the smaller side, but NT and average coordination. He was not physically aggressive but LOVED sports. My DH’s family is very athletic, I am medium athletic, and we thought sports would be good for learning sportsmanship, teamwork, etc.

DS player soccer, baseball, flag football ball, tennis, basketball— all the “typical” sports. DH would work with him daily to practice skills, we sent him to camps, got him extra coaching, etc because DS worshipped athletes and really wanted to be “athletic.” Nonetheless DS was not very good at any of these sports, even when we dropped down to a couple so he could focus on learning those skills. He constantly felt excluded at school when they played sports during recess - those same kids who would be kind to him during their sports practices or games (when parents were around) didn’t want him to play with them because of his poor ability. DS was very upset by this.

DS still loves sports, still would like to be an athlete, but it took until he was about 14 to accept he was not going to be competitive. I felt terrible for him and am angry that boys culture (and our culture in general) is so sports focused. FWIW, there is not the same pressure for girls.

The good news is that DS still plays basketball and tennis recreationally, is very fit, and has taken up running/cross country. He is still obsessed with sports, and follows all the different leagues.

If I had to do it over again, I would have forced DS to do other non-sports activities or sports that are individual rather than team. It was all he was interested in at the time, but I don’t think it has been a positive experience on the whole.

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