Reply to Looking back: was there someone else you should have married

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[quote=Anonymous]There are a few guys from my mid-20s that I wonder about, but I never really got to know them enough to get an idea of whether they would have been a good possibility. Part of that is because I was an immature/awkward dater back then (my parents discouraged dating in H.S. and college) and did not have the same self-esteem as I do now.

Thinking about the guys I had relationships with, including my ex-DH, I can't say that any of them would be a great match for me. I certainly had great hope for a number of those relationships (obviously, my marriage!). Some had commitment/attachment issues, some just didn't have similar enough values and goals, and a few had other issues going on (alcohol/mental health) or weren't honest or weren't interested enough in me.

I'm in my mid-40s and in some ways I wonder why it has been this hard. I'm not ultra-picky, or bitchy, or difficult, or crazy. I'm okay with guys who are short or bald or have a belly. But finding someone who has some shared interests, a reasonable amount of shared values, and who is high functioning has been pretty elusive. [/quote]

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