Reply to Daughter (16) saying that life is boring, has no purpose, is work

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She isn't having suicidal thoughts and has never had them, but has been saying that life is boring, has no purpose, and is work.

She says that now is the best and most fortunate part of her life (being young, parents healthy, not having to work full-time) and says that life will only get worse as an adult: work, housework, little free time, losing family members, and possibly raising kids before old age, health issues, and mortality.

She has many close friends, does well academically, and participated in several activities outside of school before COVID. She saw a therapist for depression and ADHD from ages 12-14, but has not needed to for the past 2 years until now. I suggested seeing a therapist again, but she doesn't think it will help.

DH grew up low-income and believes that she is only feeling this way because she has a privileged life and that this is a problem for rich people. He pointed out that many people around the world live in poverty, work dangerous and low-paying jobs, or/and have health issues. He said that we should ignore this if it goes on. I feel that he is being overly harsh.

Is this typical for her age or indicative of something more serious? Should I be doing anything other than encouraging her to see a therapist? [/quote]

I have a 15 year old daughter who [b]had[/b] ADHD and social anxiety disorder who goes in and out of depressive moods.  She too isn’t excited about her future, and wonders what the point is.  She is on ADHD meds and anti-depressants.  She hated going to a therapist because they pushed her rather than listening to her.  Now she just has her psychiatrist who is much more the right speed for her.

1.  The best thing you can do is LISTEN to her.  Don’t give advice, don’t try to talk her out of her opinion.  All you allow yourself to say is things like.....“It sounds like that really frustrates you.”. “Wouldn’t it. be great if ______________.”  She just needs to get it off her chest.  That’s all.  Don’t try to solve it.
2.  The other thing you can do is DO THINGS WITH HER.  Not necessarily big things, just something routine that she likes.  My daughter and I stay up late every night right now watching Downton Abbey.  It’s our time together and it takes her away from her depressive thoughts and makes her more open to tell me when she is feeling down.
3.  Do you have a FAMILY PET?  Pet’s are AMAZING at helping depressive teens.  We have two and she loves on them a lot and seems happier after doing so.

[/quote]

*[b]has[/b][/quote]

I agree with everything except the pet. We have a cat and dog and if it were up to dd we’d have neither. She thinks cats and dogs are smelly and disgusting. She hates having animal fur on clothing, couches, and the floor. [/quote]

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