Reply to Daughter (16) saying that life is boring, has no purpose, is work

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would get her a therapist. I had these thoughts as a teen and became gradually more depressed and eventually suicidal. She needs help reframing some of her assumptions— ie, my teen years were definitely not the most satisfying of my life, and many things bring me more joy than being young and having people take care for me: autonomy, challenge, independence. I would take it seriously especially if her personality has gotten more flat or affectless.

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Adding on: I’d consider an antidepressant too, if her therapist thinks she’s depressed. I think her outlook is worrisome in that if she sees no positive future or purpose, and sees only the negatives of adulthood, it’s easy to move from where she is now to suicidal thoughts. Particularly because she has a history of depression already. The late teen years are a vulnerable period and although I’m to some extent projecting from my own experience, I think she is at risk of self harm and would want to intervene before she goes off to college. Adulthood is actually a lot of fun at times and it sounds like she doesn’t see that and can’t imagine those possibilities for herself.
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+1.  It may very well be depression.  Depression is not always a feeling of sadness.  It call also be irritability, boredom, etc.  To get her in the door to a therapist try NOT framing it as depression.  Instead tell her -- the pandemic is a terrible time because we're all struggling with these feelings of what to do in life.... please talk to the therapist and identify what you can do that will be interesting to you -- goals you can set, what you'd like for university or gap year, volunteer work, etc.  I (your parent) can't talk to you (my kid) about this because it will feel like I am telling you what to do even though that would not be my intent.  As a parent, I can only say that you have a lot of great things to look forward to -- getting a job may have downsides but having money will allow you to do and buy things you want, losing friends and family is balanced by making friends and new family, etc.  As a parent, I will support (within reason) new ideas about how you want to spend your time and new goals, activities, etc.  [/quote]

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