Reply to DH here. I want a degree of medical privacy (HIPPA Yay) from my wife....causing friction

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Reply to "DH here. I want a degree of medical privacy (HIPPA Yay) from my wife....causing friction"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm on team DW, but that's irrelevant. It doesn't sound like your DW is not a good health care advocate -- it sounds like she is advocating strenuously on your behalf. Anyway, it's your body and you get to trust the doctor if that's what you choose. I wouldn't shut your wife out since she clearly  is fighting for you and is on your side, even though it seems like she is on the opposite side. [b]Try to get her to see that ultimately, it's your choice and she needs to know when to stop pushing for something you don't support yourself[/b].[/quote]

Fighting and advocating for someone means supporting and respecting their decisions, not going against them.  [/quote]

Yes, that's what I said.[/quote]

No. You said "it doesn't sound like your DW is not a good health care advocate" 
Take away those double negatives and that reads "It sounds like your DW is a good health care advocate"
She isn't. She is advocating for what she wants and not listening to her husband. She isn't "fighting for him" she is simply "fighting him" if you ask me.
[/quote]

Uh, [b]she is advocating for what she thinks is in her husband's best interest.[/b] Yes, she is "fighting for him" -- and pretty strenuously. Like I said, she needs to know when to stop pushing for what she thinks is best when OP doesn't agree with her. I'm not sure what your beef is with what I said.[/quote]

What [b]she thinks [/b]is his best interest. Not what he thinks is his best interest.

For example, if somebody decided to get an abortion because the doctor told her the baby's life would be full of pain and very short, and it would put the mother's life at risk to deliver the baby, but her spouse decided it was in her best interest to carry the baby to term and see if it would be OK and pushes for that, is that being a good advocate? Not, it is the spouse advocating for what he/she wants.

That's my beef with what you said. You said she was being a good advocate. She isn't. [/quote]

Exactly. I mean, it raises some philosophical questions. Taking the quackery (I think OP's DW is a victim of quackery too) aside:

A has beliefs about what is quality health care.
B has beliefs about what is quality health care.
A's beliefs and B's beliefs contradict each other. 
B has a sincere and relevant concern for A's wellbeing.

What is the best way for B to advocate and/or support A? 
And, if this is a relationship such as marriage, based on assumptions of care and reciprocity, what is the best way for A to support B, who may be fearful about the result of A's decisions?

[/quote]

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