Reply to How to avoid discussions when you have unpopular opinions?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have decided to continue social isolation as much as possible.  It’s not hard for us since we have a great nanny (who lives alone and only sees us) and I have always worked from home.  Without DH’s commute and the gyms closed, he’s also home more.  We’re lucky, I know.  It seems over the past week, I get a daily call from a friend asking if DS is going to return to a class or for a play date.  The first couple times I told the truth and just said we were continuing with strict social distancing and have been met with nearly angry responses.  I must be wording it wrong.  Please tell me how to respond without eliciting defensive or angry mocking.

Same in normal times when the subject of TV comes up.  We don’t let DS watch anything including when his classes went remote (which is why it came up) and not for play dates when we were having them.

Thanks. [/quote]

OP, I think rather than just stating what you're doing, you must be stating it for a reason that annoys people or in a way that makes people feel like you are judging them for doing things differently.  I have two kids who are both over three and I can't think of a single time they watched TV on a play date at that age (or actually for a few years after that) unless the purpose of the play date was to watch a movie, so I don't know why this is a thing where people have criticized you.  At age three, you are likely not doing drop-off play dates, which means that the other parent was at your house, and what?  They asked if the kids could watch TV?  Their child asked to watch TV?  I'm just not seeing how this even comes up, so it seems like maybe you are volunteering information to people when they haven't asked about it and you're rubbing them the wrong way.

Example - a parent calls to ask you if your child is going back to gymnastics class.  Instead of saying simply no, you say "no, we wouldn't dare send our kid back to a gym right now because we care too much about him getting sick."  Without knowing exactly what you're saying it's hard to give you advice, but based on the examples you've given it sounds like you aren't just stating your position, but doing so with an explanation as to why you think you're right.[/quote]

I agree, I think based on how you posted your original question, you must be giving too many details and doing so in a way that makes it clear you think you'er a better parent. That's what's rubbing your friends the wrong way.

Although I will say I see a lot of friendships getting broken over this. Because everyone is anxious and upset and no one really knows what to do, and hearing a friend say they disagree with your choices is very hard for everyone's emotional state right now. That's not on you, but just mentioning it, because even in the best of scenarios, I can see friends getting bothered by someone making a different choice.[/quote]

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