Reply to Why Is My 16 Year Old Son A Raging Asshat?

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Why Is My 16 Year Old Son A Raging Asshat?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

[quote]I'm not naive so I can't say for certain he isn't smoking pot, but as far as I know he isn't. I haven't found any in the house or caught any pot smell on it, but it's possible he has when he spends the night out with his friends. He's in AP and Honors courses,[b] typically gets A's and B's with the occasional C. He refuses to do homework but still manages to keep his grades at A's & B's just by doing well on tests which drives me insane. His father and I keep insisting that the competition is tougher than he thinks [/b]and even with grades that he feels are "phenomenal" he may have a tough time getting into even UVA or UMD. I almost think he is oppositional, anything I say to him he feels the need to challenge, debate, oppose, it's so tiring I cry some nights after asking him the simplest request. [/quote]

Maybe he needs more of a challenge?  [b]Has he chosen the classes/sports himself, or did you? [/b] For me, I kind of skated by the first two years of HS (with my parents warning me it couldn't last) but then decided that I wanted to volunteer on a political campaign.  My parents didn't suggest this, I just came up with it on my own.  I became super-involved, and the organizational skills I learned led me to focus in other parts of my life, too- I really bore down at school, mostly so I could spend more time on the campaign.  If he has some other interests he hasn't pursued, maybe you could subtly encourage him to do so?[/quote]

I would never select his courses for him, that's his choice as he has to take the courses and also has to enjoy what he is learning. We discuss his selections in depth but other than his father and I signing off on them he is in charge of what he wants to take. This year he's managed to create a very demanding schedule for himself, mostly AP courses, very few easy electives. His electives are actually AP music courses which are not easy courses to me at all. I admire his drive but what typically happens is that he starts the year off with all A's, then A's & B's, then B's, then B's and some C's. This may be normal but he just gets lazy and loses interest as the year goes on, he blames his grades on his teachers not liking him, on his teachers losing his homework, on everything but himself. He wont take responsibility or go back to redo work for the better grade when given the opportunity. He also has the system worked out so he knows how many homework assignments he can miss so that he can still manage to get A's and B's without doing homework. He is very smart but when he isn't challenged he is a problem. Last year we had an issue with him debating, challenging, being rude to and showing absolute disrespect to one of his teachers to the point I thought she was going to remove him from the class. When she contacted us and we had to confront him to discuss the matter he broke down in tears crying that she "didn't like him". That to me is manipulation and just him being an asshat to an older lady that he should show respect to.

These are the things I expect from him on a daily basis that he doesn't manage to do without his father or I "nagging" him - take his allergy meds, make bed, throw trash out rather than leave it on counter, shower, brush teeth, be kind to siblings, show respect, no swearing in front of young siblings or at his parents. I really dont feel those are high expectations for a high schooler. His chore in the house is to get the trash/recycling out which never happens, his father does it.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics