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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like you're sad about skipping your 20's more than anything. But it's very hard to do your 20's the way you imagine with 3 kids and maybe a divorce.

I think start by talking to a therapist about it. [/quote]

This, OP. Reread the post above. You need to step back, try to be more objective about your own life and what's in your head, and accept that maybe a therapist could help.

Does your DH know you are basically regretting, as PP aptly puts it, "skipping your 20s"? He may feel the same way and you don't know it. I would talk to him. Couples counseling/therapy could be a big help. You need to work out whether you are truly unhappy at your core in ways that won't change, or whether things can be improved with effort. And yeah, it takes self-awareness and actual effort, even when that effort feels forced. Dating would feel forced too, if you were to date as a divorced woman juggling kids, custody schedule, financial arrangements post-divorce, etc.

That's reality -- if you divorce in order to date, you'll be dating as a divorced mom of nearly 30, not as the 18-year-old you were when you and he got together. I'm concerned you don't see that quite clearly yet. It's a red flag that when you see these highly curated, edited, glossy "dating" shows on TV, they make you want what those people supposedly are doing. It's not at all real nor is it an indication of what it's really like to date in your 20s. The PP is correct that if you become a divorced parent, you are going to find things are not what you expect. You can get dates--but you will be far less likely ever to get a real relationship again; there are men who would be willing to take you on with your kids but to be blunt--not many.

So you need to decide if you're just feeling very understandable regrets you can vent about and work through, or if you're done with this marriage; if you're done with the marriage, you need a reality check on how you won't be dating for a while and when you are, you'll never again date as a single woman in her 20s without kids. Which is it? A therapist could help you figure it out.

If you actually deep down mean that you want to stay married (for convenience, finances, the kids, affection) but want sex with other men, that is still probably a deal-breaker for most marriages, despite all the "we have an open marriage and  it's great" posts on these boards. 
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