Reply to Help breaking the news to my best friend who is TTC

Forum Index » Expectant and Postpartum Moms

Reply to "Help breaking the news to my best friend who is TTC"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, u sound like a nice person/friend. While I understand why people are saying "that your friend is in the wrong", I believe (and ttc myself, I I am biased) but the cliche "do not judge until you have walked in someone else's shoes" (or something like that) is very much true here.[/quote]

Thanks for this. To those thinking the that the PPs words were offensive, I can assure you MANY women going thru infertility feel the same way (at least those with whom I have spoken have. And there are many; they come out of the woodwork when you yourself are experiencing isues). I remember reading one study that compared IVF to the stress of having cancer or loosing a relative.It may seem ridiculous - and it's not true for all people suffering from infertility- but it's true for some.[/quote]
That's fine, but that's not the point. Saying the pain of infertility trumps all other pain is offensive. It would be like someone going to the TTC and telling the women there to buck up because they lost their healthy child unexpectedly at age three (as my friend did) or they had a healthy pregnancy that ended in a totally unexpected stillborn birth. And so their pain was worse because these women have never lost a child that late. It would be absurd, offensive, and unhelpful, and several posters called out essentially the same thing in this thread. It's just not productive to post that your pain is the most imaginable. And yes, it is offensive.
And a "study" that compares people's pain or stress? One of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.[/quote]
There are publications about life's greatest stressors from countless research, the stressors can be positive or negative, and those lists and scales have been around forever, and are well accepted.  Some of them:  Death of spouse, of a child, of a parent, divorce, marriage, birth of a child, severe illness of a child, of a loved one, fired from job, career change, retirement, children moving out of home, ....  and many more.  (not listed in order)[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics