Reply to Help breaking the news to my best friend who is TTC

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As someone who was TTC for a long while and had to resort to IVF, I know that the process can (almost literally) drive you crazy.  That said, your friend's decision to cut you out of her life is unjustifiable and a really painful thing to do to you.

In terms of going forward, I think you have to assess the friendship in the broader sense.  Outside of the TTC issue, has she been a good friend - supportive of your goals, happy for your (other) successes, connected to your loved ones and friends, interested in you and your thoughts, etc.  If she isn't even a good or loyal friend outside this TTC/pregnancy situation, then, well, I think you already have your answer.  If she has been a good friend, I'd say give her another chance.  Go out to lunch, tell her gently in person or at least via phone (don't wuss out on this), let her take the lead in how much you talk about it.  But in turn, she has to deal with this and still be a good friend to you.  No silent treatment.  Otherwise, there's not much of a relationship to continue.

Why am I giving her one "pass"?  The IVF thing can just make otherwise even-keeled folks "lose it"... doesn't mean you have to take abuse & neglect, just something to keep in mind. [/quote]

Another IVF vertran here. I totally agree with the above. The process of TTC (and esp. IVF) can really make the most sane person crazy, so if she's a good friend outside this context, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. Not to say that what she did was reasonable - it wasn't - but at the same time unless you've been there yourself it's hard to know how infertility can impact you.
I'd tell her in an email to allow her her own time to react. You might allude to the fact that youa re nervous to tell her bc of what happened last time but you'd need to phrase that carefully.
Good luck, and congratulations![/quote]

What other context is there, at this point? The friend didn't speak to the OP for a year after baby #2. I don't care what someone's going through - cutting off a "best friend" for a year for something like that is inexcusable. [/quote]

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