Reply to Lives separate life but not asking for a divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know what went wrong, OP, but it's not something you can fix. It seems to be on his end. It seems to me you have a couple of options. You can keep playing along like you are now, taking whatever sops of affection or normal life he gives you, and try to be content with what sounds like a materially fulfilled life. Or you can refuse to play tennis or whatever it is he wants you to do unless you yourself also want to do it. You're not his doll to order around. Or, you can tell him you want to talk about what's going on and be straightforward -- tell him you value honesty above all else, you suspect he is seeing someone and planning to divorce you, and you want to know if that's why he is living in the basement and doing the hot and cold routine.

Any of these are reasonable. It depends what you want. If you don't want to divorce him, if you don't really want honesty if it turns out the answers are what you fear, if you are ok with playing tennis and cooking for him and doing his laundry even though he is only half in the relationship, it's ok to stay. But then you need to find a way to be happy with that. [/quote]

All my attempts to discuss our relationship end with his silence. He just says “I am not ready to come back” or “it’s not a good time to discuss” or just pretends there is no problem at all and leaves the room. He leaves me no chance even to discuss the relationship but at the same time fulfills his duties to
the family by continuing being supportive of our son, active in joint business, visiting friends together, going out together etc [/quote]

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