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[quote=Anonymous]Hi op, it is very hard to handle someone else’s child when they are around. A child will cry to get their mom back. Sometimes in a heart breaking way. And then 5 min after you are out of the door they are perfectly happy again. But if they know you are right outside the door they will keep crying.

So I can understand why your mom would say it doesn’t work for her.

On her parenting choices. I may be on the stern side. I am loving but tantrums get calmly ignored. I have found that’s what works best. I do pick up kids and reassure though. I find some of my SILs complete pushover on that front and fast forward a few years my kids don’t blackmail me with tantrums and their kids do. We all have happy and loving relationships with our kids and we are all very close to them.

But maybe your mom is indeed traumatizing to your daughter, I can’t judge. How was she as a mom to you? Do you have terrible memories  ? If not and it is really parenting styles and not child abuse. Then you need to drop it and not micromanage. You would be interfering with their dynamic and she can make it won’t better without you (again it is impossible to manage a child if they want to run crying to their mom because they want to be with them, and you indulge, 3 yo will always aim to be reunited with mom).[/quote]

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