Reply to PLEASE HELP! Urgent Situation With My Mom In California.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like you have a very complicated and painful history, and that your mother either can't or won't give you accurate information about what is going on with her situation, and that your mother cannot follow through accurately on plans you make (because of mental health issues? a personality disorder? substance abuse?).

OP, I really hate to say this, but I think it's going to be crappy and not work out well, no matter what you say or do, and no matter how perfectly you do it. Even with a perfect plan, it's unlikely things will go as planned, or even well.

I say that not to discourage you, but to encourage you to think about this before you start sacrificing more pieces of your life and peace of mind. This may not have any great outcomes, and it's worth making sure you are okay with that before you get started. Draw your boundaries now. Know where your limits are.

It's okay to make a her choices more clear for her, and then let her make them. You are NOT responsible for her. She si not letting you be. [/quote]

You have hit the nail on the head. This is the exact predicament that I'm all the way down to the very painful and complicated past. We have not been close since I was 14 when I learned that I had to start putting myself first in order to have any chance at survival. Even with this said I literally can't sleep knowing that my mom right now at this very moment is sitting in her broke down truck in a shopping center parking lot 4K miles away. I need to find a way to help while still having boundaries. This is why I was so focused on getting her a reliable used vehicle so at least she can be somewhat self sufficient.[/quote]

I understand you want to get her a vehicle, but do you understand that doesn’t make sense? Do you want your mom sleeping in her car? If you don’t care about her sleeping in a car, that’s fine but let’s not pretend that buyii in my a car makes sense. [/quote]

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