Reply to I don't know if I should laugh or cry

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What constitutes legal joint custody, why is that a big deal, and does it need to be 50/50?

And having a dad play with their kid only 1 day a week, while the mom does most of the heavy lifting, sounds about right in many families.  Not saying it is the way it should be, just stating that this is how it is in many non-divorce situations.   [/quote]

It's a big deal because I would need to consult him before every decision I make for our child.  He has never expressed any interest in participating before.  He has not attended a single school meeting.  And if I'm perfectly honest it really pisses me off that after 11 years he is trying to pull this stunt.  [/quote]

[b]Why do you think he is asking for it? If he has no interest in being involved and never has, what do you think is behind this request?[/b][/quote]

Yes, this. I would definitely talk to a lawyer. [/quote]

I have a lawyer already, of course.  I am just venting here.  I really don't have the extra money to spend on a lawyer but it is what it is.

My ex is a trust fund baby, but shows no income on a tax return.  His dad paid off his condo, put half a million in a brokerage account but I can't touch that of course. [/quote]

Then, just agree to a weekly visit, joint custody in exchange for an increase in child support.  No need to fight about it.  You want money, he wants a say in his kids life and a regular visitation schedule.  Both reasonable requests.  Compromise.[/quote]

I never denied him weekly or any visits.  Where did I say that?  I'm not fighting him on that.  I just do not think that someone who 1) doesn't know what is going with his child 2) doesn't participate in anything that is going to help him make decisions, should have decision making authority.  Money is secondary to this.  [/quote]

Because it is still his kid.  Offer two nights a week, Sunday and joint for more child support and being allowed to move to cheaper housing within a 45 minute drive.  Tell him he must take the time to agree to joint. [/quote]

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