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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You're a really good mother who has tried to make it easy for your child to have a relationship with his son. Hats off to you for going so long with having just a verbal agreement and while $400 is pretty laughable I'm glad he's shown some sense of responsibility by paying child support without having to get legal.

What do you think the driving reasons are for this sudden attempt to get legal? Somehow trying to avoid child support? Do you suspect he plans to move? A sudden realization that he has no real relationship with his son and is trying to do what he thinks he can to make up for lost time? He disagrees with your parenting on some fundamental level and wants a say? With middle and high school on the way he wants a say in where your son goes to school?  Is bored self quarantining and wants a playmate on Sundays? Where is this coming from? [/quote]

If mom and dad both contribute $400 a month, depending on the child it is plenty.  We only spend more because of activities and not all kids do as much as ours.[/quote]

$400 is enough for what exactly?  My child can eat $200 of that, so that leaves the other $200 for a place to live, clothes, medical, etc. In what universe is that enough?

I am the OP and I have a an ok job (make about $100,000).  I don't consider us poor, but every penny I earn goes towards caring for our child. We live a very modest life.  [/quote]

You make plenty of money and have a good job.  You are also supposed to contribute, so its not just $400. It goes by income so if you make more, your share will be more per child support calculators.  The cost difference in housing is a one bedroom to a two bedroom, not the entire apartment amount.[/quote]

I also have 100% physical custody so....

And in case you didn't know, the cost of a 1 bedroom in NW DC is about $1700 and the cost of a two bedroom is $$2700, so I'm not calculating the cost of the entire apartment but the extra room that I have to have.  His $400 doesn't begin to cover his HALF.

Why am I supposed to pay more just because I work?  He chooses not to get a job that pays more than minimum wage.  He has advanced degrees (MBA from a great school) but chooses not to work because his blood pressure is slightly up.

Obviously money was not the most important thing to me or I would have taken him to court years ago. But stop with the nonsense that I'm getting what is fair.[/quote]

I hate to break it to you, but in the absence of a court order you don’t actually have 100% physical custody. It is joint unless otherwise specified. [/quote]

He isn't denying that I have or SHOULD have 100% physical custody even in his complaint.  So, yes, I have 100% physical custody.  No party is disputing this.

Since I have no desire to deny him visitation (never have) I think it's only fair I have the legal custody as well.  If he wants to be more than a weekend buddy he can start by doing the work.[/quote]

[b]Frankly, it doesn’t sound like you would LET him do the work, even if he wanted to. [/b]

Life isn’t fair and it likely isn’t going to go your way in court because what he’s asking for is extremely reasonable. I’m sure your lawyers will hash out child support if that needs to increase/decrease. Just be prepared. Having your head in the sand about this isn’t going to help your cause. [/quote]

Oh I forget there is always one of you on this forum.

I guess the judge will decide what is reasonable and what is not.  I doubt the judge will let him have anything he doesn't already have. As I said multiple times before, I never denied him access or involvement.  But if it makes you feel better about yourself to spew hate at me, go ahead.  [/quote]

You admit yourself on the last page that he should just go away and leave you be, yet you’ve been happy to take $400/month from him for 11 years. I’m certainly not trying to spew hate, and I’m sorry if it came off that way. It’s just that what you actually want from him isn’t really clear. On one hand, you want him to be more involved - or do you, because on the other side it sounds like you’d be happy cutting him out entirely. The story changes with every post.

Bottom line, he’ll most likely get what he is asking for. I hope you can accept that and find peace with it and be thankful that you can choose to parent the way you want the vast majority of the time. [/quote]

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