Reply to Have you ever been iced out of a friend group? And felt sick to your stomach over it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This happened to me. It really hurt. Nothing to do other than grieve and then move on. I am so much better off now. I have true friends without the drama!

Do not think that it was you. In my case, it turns out it was how this group operated, I just didn't know it at the time. A year or so after they iced me, they did the same thing to another woman. And I'm pretty sure there was something similar that happened a few years before I was in the group.

You are so much better off without them! [/quote]

NP here.  This is very common among female friend groups, but not all of them.  Some are highly toxic where there is a QB who is a drama queen -  or, in some circumstances I've seen, a QB and others with Cluster B personality disorders that the group normalizes, enables ,and fosters.  (Read up on narcissistic personality disorder, malignant narcissism, histrionic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder...)  Hurt feelings and one wrong move - even if you were super rude - shouldn't end a relationship.

In the best circumstances, even low drama female friend groups can require a high level of nuance  (compared to male friend groups) that not everyone enjoys.  Just because you are a woman doesn't mean you have to like this way of engaging. Many (but not the majority of) women operate more like guys and find it hard to navigate.

Either way, this is not the group for you and if this happens, it means it wasn't good or right for you. You deserve to be told what you did wrong, if you did, and be given a chance to make amends.  That is what a mature, loving relationship would offer. Based on what happened, I'm afraid that even if they accepted you back in, you'd be at the mercy of the group's whims and that is neither relaxing nor uplifting.

Focus right now on personal growth - learn something new, read a book you always meant to read, etc.

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