Reply to DH talks multiple times a day to a woman he used to work with

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]He's probably justifying this emotional affair by "being open" with you about it[/b]. But it is inappropriate.

Who knows how far it is gone, but based now what you described, it's exceeded the realm of just friendship and is flirty and frequent. This is dangerous.

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NP. See the bolded statement above, OP. This is what  he's thinking.

[u]Be prepared[/u] for him to try to blow this back onto you when -- not "if" but WHEN -- you talk to him like an adult and point out that this contact is inappropriate.

He's very likely to come back at you with, "But I am not hiding anything. You hear us on the phone. I don't duck out and call her, you know she's my friend and that's all. I'm open and honest. Why can't you accept that a man can have a woman friend? What is wrong with you that you are so suspicious of me when I am open about this?" And so on. He'll say he's hurt that you don't trust him because, he's open! He's angry that you suspect him because, he's right there in the house with you when they talk! And so on. Be ready for all this, OP. Think now about what you want to respond to him. I seriously would script it out in advance, how you will bring it all up, what you will say to point out the inappropriateness, how you will respond to his comments and criticisms and defenses, and finally, what you want as the next step from him.

You will have to prepare in order to stay calm and cool. If you get emotional he will turn that against you too -- accuse you of being hysterical, overreacting etc. Especially because he's not (probalby not) doing anything physical, and many people figure if the affair isn't physical, it isn't an affair.

Oh, and the "you hang up, no, YOU hang up" giggly stuff is so juvenile I can't even process it. Is he immature in other aspects of life as well? If so, and if he tends to be defensive in general -- yeah, he's going to protest hard that because he's "open" about the calls you have zero right to find them a problem. Just be ready for that.

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