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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The Class of 2020 is grieving so many lost milestones and opportunities.  By extension, their parents are grieving for their kids and for themselves losing the chance to watch  these milestones occur.  To launch their kids From childhood toAdulthood in the way they have dreamed of for years.

Now, before anyone says anything, of course many people have it so much worse right now. But it doesn’t make the feelings of kids and parents less real.

If you have the bandwidth right now, it would be kind to reach out and check in.  Listen empathetically for 15-20 minutes, saying up front “I’ve been trying to find time to check in, and I finally have 20 minutes before I have to help Kid 2 log into online class“ (or whatever).  That way, the conversation doesn’t turn into two hours of drama and after 15 minutes, you can kindly extricate yourself.

Ask her what the hardest piece is— not doing the dorm shop and dorm room setup, which can be a big deal for some girls and moms?  Not being able to see her pledge moms old sorority?  All the work her kid out into getting accepted to this college, only to have her child being “launched”  Into the basement for classes while living in her old bedroom?  All the years of sacrifice for college tuition to make this college happen, and now she’s basically paying tuition to Online U, at least at first?

Most senior parents I know have something specific they are fixated on.  For example, one of my close friends is struggling with that moment she puts a huge smile on her face, hugs her kid, walks away, gets in the car, and leaves her DD 10 hours away, likely until Thanksgiving.  And not knowing if it will happen in August 2020 or October 2020 or January 2021 or August 2021 is wearing her down.  I think her talking about it to me and my telling her the piece of this Senior Mess that was upsetting her the most was helpful.  [b]My kid doesn’t get a last time to play with his school band.   Seems silly, right?  But the band kids are super close, and have a traditional last song, after which the underclassmen form a circle around the seniors. And that’s where I’m fixated right now. No band closure.[/b] And telling my friend that, without the “”it’s a pandemic and you are worried about a band song?” Response made me feel better.

But if you don’t have the bandwidth, That’s okay. We are all struggling here. The PP’s are right.  Mute her posts for a while. You can always go directly to her page if you want a status check.

But, try to put your default setting on Grace, empathy and patience right now— not judgment.  We are all dealing with stress and lost opportunities differently.  And if you can’t manage those things because your own life is falling apart, hit mute on social media. [/quote]

I feel this, pp.  My kid is an 8th grader, and I am so sad about missing his last concert. Even though he will still be in band in HS, I have always looked forward to hearing them play their HS fight song at their final MS concert. Plus he has such a bond with his band teacher and I hate that he doesn't get to say goodbye.

This particular crisis has a weird abstractness to it, which makes it easy to focus on our less significant problems rather than the devastation that is happening around the world. Over 50,000 people have died, and I find myself weirdly searching for the image that will make this sink in, like the images of people jumping from the WTC. [/quote]

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