Reply to Former ILs Mistreating New Wife

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]None.Of.Your.Business.

Also your kids may well be lying and everyone adores this woman, including them but they feel guilty about it so have made up this quite ridiculous story for you.

You're welcome.[/quote]

What a ridiculous, outlandish thing to say. 
You sound like you have a lot of mistrust within your family, as well as you, yourself.

Don't project that negativity onto the OP -- most family's don't lie, scheme and manipulate one another.
[/quote]

Disagree.  I think there is some truth in this perspective, although delivery may have been a bit blunt.

Children have intense loyalty binds to their mothers.  Whenever another woman enters the picture, as well as a new sibling, children are going to feel these loyalty issues intensely.  While they may not knowingly "lie" about the statements made they can easily present them to you (mother/OP) in a way that they subconsciously know you will approve of.

You made two comments about your exH's wife being younger which is telling.  Plus she's had his baby.  You weren't particularly close to his family, either.  Despite being happily remarried yourself is it possible you may still feel some lingering resentment towards your ex and his family?   Surely your kids may have overheard you comment on these issues at some point and they've squirreled it away in their subconscious.  Maybe they've got some issues with the new baby/half-sibling, too, but have not articulated it to you.

Like others have said, it is not your business how the ILs treat your ex-husband's wife.  You have no idea what the dynamic is between them.  All you can control is your behavior and comments toward your own children.  If you have not considered some family counseling for your and the kids, I would suggest it.  Step situations are never easy and are a landmine of potential hazards which can blow up many years later.  [/quote]

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