Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of someone who gets cheated on and stays?

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Reply to "Can someone explain the mindset of someone who gets cheated on and stays?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There's no one size fits all solution. It really depends on the people involved and the situation.

Dh has been a great partner for the past 20+ years. If he had a mid life crisis and cheated. But, he was remorseful and clearly willing to do what it takes to stay in the marriage, then infidelity would be forgivable.

With that being said, if dh had been a bad partner for 20 years, then I wouldn't stay. In that case, infidelity is really the straw that broke the camel's back.

There are absolutely worst things than sexual infidelity like abuse, addiction, and financial infidelity.  If dh ever raised a hand to me, was an addict, or did something irresponsible with our money/hid finances from me, I would walk away in a heartbeat. These things have a much more direct and harmful impact on my quality of life.

[/quote]

Would it matter if it was a 2 or 3 year affair vs just a fling with a stranger on a work trip?

I think the how, why, what, length of time, etc. matters greatly personally so my decisions would be different depending on the type of transgression.[/quote]

Of course that would matter.  It's like asking if you would leave your spouse if they raised their voice with you.  On rare occasion, no.  All the time?  Yes.

Yes, a short term affair or ONS is far more forgivable than years of deception.  But again, that's just me.  Everyone is entitled to their dealbreakers.  I wouldn't stay with a financially irresponsible spouse, or one that was deep into Alex Jones conspiracy theories.  To each their own.[/quote]

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