Reply to Need ideas on how to quickly change the subject from adoption

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

PLEASE please....you adopted a child who looks different than you....don't sweep it under the rug or get offended.[/quote]

Oh Please... no one is said to sweep anything under the rug. Perhaps it is just me but I am disgusted reading blog after blog of AP blabbing their children's stories to the world. You know the ones where they have "rescued" some poor waif from certain death, starvation, rape or worse abortion. I have read APs who live in 100% white communities and  have adopted children of color then brag to the world that the child is HIV+... gee I bet these children can't wait to go to the public school. One couple actually wrote a book on how their child was found by a riverbank in Ethiopia in a sack with a rope around her neck. The only reason I can think of that AP do this is because the adoption is all about THEM not their children.

So forgive me if I err on the side of caution. I have had people come up to me and assume my child's first mom was a drug addict.

Also the pp who mentioned WISE UP perhaps they should actually read the site because it reinforces what I have been saying:

[quote]WHAT IS W.I.S.E. Up! [url]http://www.adoptionissues.org/wiseup.html[/url]
The W.I.S.E. Up! Program first helps children realize that they are smarter than their peers – or WISER about adoption because of their experience of growing up in an adoptive family. They can take on the role of “expert”. This understanding alone helps introduce and prepare adopted children for the distinct likelihood that they will get asked questions and the reasons why.

Second, children learn to think about who is asking the question/making the comment and what they think is the motivation behind the question. Is the question coming from a trusted friend, from the class bully, from a teacher, etc. Is the person just curious or trying to tease?

Third, children learn to identify how they feel about

the person asking the question/making the comment
    when the question is being asked – are they alone with their friend, or in front of other classmates; what kind of mood are they in – how are they feeling at that particular moment
    how they feel about the question/comment. Children are usually shown a list of possible feelings including – sad, angry, surprised, shy, happy, confused, embarrassed, etc.

In the final and fourth step, children learn that they have four possible options for responding – each represented by the four letters of W.I.S.E., a tool designed for quick memorization. [b]They actively CHOOSE how to respond.

W = WALK AWAY, or ignore what you hear.
I = IT’S PRIVATE, I do not have to share information with anyone, and I can say that appropriately, even to adults.
S = SHARE SOMETHING about my adoption story, but I can think carefully about what I want to let others know.
E = EDUCATE OTHERS about adoption in general, for example, I can talk about how adoption works today, successful adoptees, inaccurate information in the media, etc. I know a lot about it.[/b] [/quote][/quote]

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