Reply to EX-DH spanked our 6y old

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here,

No she just not have delays, she’s a great kid most of the time, but she does however like to be in control. I’m sure this was her trying to control the situation (how far she went, when she came back) She has always been this way. [/quote]

Everybody likes to be in control and everybody needs to learn there are times they can't be in control and have to submit to somebody else's control.  There is a reason the law puts parents in control of 6 year olds, and it's for the child's safety.

As bad as the safety risk by biking too far, laughing at Dad instead of listening to his warning compounded the issue.  Assuming that your DH did not injure your child with the spanking since you only seem concerned about emotional trauma, I think his response in the situation was appropriate.

What I don't think is appropriate is your response?  Why aren't you concerned that your daughter did something that could be far more dangerous than a spanking?  Why aren't you concerned that instead of respecting any authority (parent, teacher, babysitter, etc.) in charge of keeping her safe, she laughs at them?  Why aren't you concerned that the tiny tyrant is playing these power games?

You need to coordinate with your ex-husband instead of undermining him.  If you support him, your daughter may be more likely to respect him, reducing the need for future spankings.  Tell your daughter that the child is not in control of parents or other authorities, but needs to do as they tell her (unless it's dangerous or wrong).  
Coordinate with your husband and come up with a united front for your daughter.  (Ex. If she rides out-of-bounds at her Dad's she will lose her bike when she gets back to her house.)  Do not be your daughter's enforcer to put her in power over  her father.  Aside from making his life difficult (which may at times seem appealing), it gives your daughter the wrong message that she is entitled to control of her world (unless you're trying to create a self-centered bully), and will encourage additional limit-pushing (think of risky behaviors she could engage in as a teen).[/quote]

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