Reply to EX-DH spanked our 6y old

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here,

No she just not have delays, she’s a great kid most of the time, but she does however like to be in control. I’m sure this was her trying to control the situation (how far she went, when she came back) She has always been this way. [/quote]

Sure, that's pretty obvious. She's reacting to the strange situation that we all find ourselves in, and she's trying to gain control by acting out. That she's going for dangerous acting out is the problem.

Since her reaction to being triggered is defiance, she's going to be triggered more and more as this social distancing period stretches on. Check out resources on parenting  defiant child to help her manage her triggers. Here's one: https://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-handle-defiant-children-620106 [/quote]

^^Good advice going forward.

I never spank. My SIL [i]only[/i] spanked for things like this ("the extreme reaction/pain will shock them/the pain would be worse if they touched fire or got hit by a car"), and her logic seemed sound to me before I had kids. I now believe it is a suboptimal response (at best), and should not be planned for-- should not be something people keep in their back pockets to deploy in even extreme situations. I further believe that in these cases that also inherently really, really anger or scare parents, parents are looking, even if only subconciously, to offload their fear/rage... and that's part of why they "choose" to spank.

But all that blabbity blab aside, I think what happened-- which cannot now be changed-- is about 75% understandable reaction/the kid will be okay, and only 25% he added fuel to a fire/anxiety to an anxious time.

THAT said, of course he needs other ways of dealing with frustration generally, and with similar situations. See the quoted comment. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, etc. [/quote]

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