Reply to Asked DH for divorce then his aunt died

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Asked DH for divorce then his aunt died"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can you give the guy a week to grieve?  You intensely disliked his aunt but she was like a mother to your dh.  I'm not saying that it sounds like he had a healthy relationship with the woman because I don't think that he did.  But this is a hard time for him and you should show him some compassion.  It's not like there's much waiting for you outside anyway.[/quote]
OP here. I want to want to show him compassion, but DH never showed me compassion as he ganged up on me with that woman. She spread hurtful rumors about me and my family, made crazy demands, cast me as a bad mom. And he always stood by her. I almost feel it serves him right to lose both of us.[/quote]

Yikes. You need to go to therapy for yourself. That should be your first step. You are not in a menta place to separate in a way that’s not going to be extremely damaging to your kids. Get your head in a good place and then separate amicably.[/quote]

I strongly agree with this. With a splash of, he was her victim too. OP I have a mother who sounds a lot like his aunt. And I have had to learn to place very strong boundaries in place to protect my husband and children. But you seem to underestimate how difficult it is to do that with someone who's had their claws in ou since birth. Regardless, holding onto the anger like you seem to in your most recent post will do nothing in the long run but damage your children.

You don't need to love your husband or stay married to him. But you need to figure out how to have a civil and if possible positive relationship with the father of your children and the man you will always be coparenting with. If you can't do that then Aunt Cruella won in the end, because she will have hurt your children the most.

- child of a very acrimonious divorce[/quote]

Op here. Thank you, both PPs. We stand a MUCH better chance of an amicable divorce now that she’s gone. A big part of my strategizing with my lawyer focused on how to shield the children from her badmouthing me and how to penalize her if she tried to interfere in the divorce or help DH hide assets. She would have tried her best to make the divorce bitter in the hopes of hurting me. I am angry with DH, but a lot of it is internal. In the past week, I’ve fed him, held him, and helped him sort through her affairs. I resent him deeply though, no doubt about that. It’s hard sitting here supporting him as he grieves someone who hurt my marriage and kids’ family more than a mistress would have.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics