Reply to I'm afraid I've seriously damaged my children's lives

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "I'm afraid I've seriously damaged my children's lives - need perspective "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]New poster.  Reading these tales about the control being exerted by wife #2, I would assume that OP is a troll.  However, one of my aunts is in a marriage with the same kind of dynamic, and it caused her to cut off contact with her son, who was college-aged at the time.  Like your child, my cousin has tried repeatedly, in very respectful, appropriate ways, to restore a relationship with his mother.  My aunt, at the behest of her husband, has repeatedly lashed out at him, claiming that his letters are a breach of her privacy.

OP, my cousin is now middle-aged with a healthy marriage and child of his own, but I cannot emphasize enough how emotionally damaging it has been for him to be rejected (and in a sense, vilified) by his own mother.  You sound very focused on your feelings--YOUR emotional health, and YOUR marriage.  That's normal, but as a parent, you have a duty to prioritize your kids' needs.  What do you think the estrangement from your kids is doing to them?

Let me be frank:  You are in an abusive marriage.  Your wife wants you to believe that you are too physically and emotionally fragile to function without her, and she is isolating you from your children to perpetuate your dependence on her.  In usurping control over your life, she has caused you to lose faith in your own capacity to cope, which is furthering your sense of fragility.

OP, are you in therapy right now?  That would be your first step.  You owe it to your kids and to yourself to restore your relationship with them, but first you have to address your marriage and your find a sense of personal responsibility and power.               [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics