Reply to I'm afraid I've seriously damaged my children's lives

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you are always blaming someone else for your problems.  Your kids "let something slip out to their mother that was damaging to you" in your court case?  How about whatever action you had done was the thing that caused the damage?  You should not be doing things your kids can't divulge to their mother.  You can't get custody for "reasons."  WTF.

"Spies"?  What are you hiding?  Why are you living in a way that you need to hide?  Why is none of it ever your fault and why are you so fragile that seeing your own kids is a danger?

To be honest, you don't need family therapy with your kids yet.  You need personal therapy and to work on yourself, so that you can be in a good place when you stroll back into their lives and pick up your role as their father.  You are not in a good place now.  if you walk back into their lives just to crush them again soon in a new and horrible way, I don't know which is the more damaging to them.

The new wife sounds like a disaster[/quote]

What I intended was that the kids did share some information that hurt me after I asked them not to, to respect my privacy and new life, etc. - but that inevitably stuff came out that blew back at me.  It frustrated me at the time but infuriated my wife who saw it is deliberate.  I tend to think it was more venting and innocent combined with a little manipulation from the ex.  Probably standard.   I did not mean to blame them per se.

Custody would be wholly impractical because of housing limitations, distance from school, commuting issues, re-combining households, etc.  I'm just being pragmatic.  I would like to see and communicate with my kids though.

I FULLY realize the more I talk this out that I have screwed up what was a beautiful life.  [/quote]

OP, there is nothing you should have been asking your kids to keep from their other parent! [/quote]

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