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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Around the world, children take in their parents in their old age.  Why is that not an option?[/quote]

Dementia can be tricky.  OP's FIL has been violent and he is an escape artist.  Both of those add factors another dimension to his care.

My FIL lives with us.  He has dementia and he is an escape artist but he is not violent.  Regardless, it has cost us much more than most people have to 1) escape proof the house, and 2) provide adequate staff to ensure that he is safe and happy.  At this point we have a day-time caregiver and a night nurse both working 8.5 hour shifts with my husband and myself covering the gaps.  It takes 3 full-time staff to cover a week of 7 days (2 shifts a day x 7).  We are considering going to full around-the-clock coverage with 4 full-time staff, and my husband and I would cover the remaining "shift."  This is in addition to therapists whom we have coming to the house to provide music therapy, art therapy, physical therapy, etc.  Most people don't have the same kind of resources available to them to make this level of in-home support work.

It would be much better (safer) for the FIL to be in a place that is fully equipped to meet his needs.[/quote]

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