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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My marriage is at year 14 and it's as bad as it's ever been.  Wife resents me for reasons that aren't fair, sex life is gone completely.  She is unhappy, end of story, but also recognizes she has it all on paper.  So we will probably divorce but no one wants to break up the family.  We co-parent peacefully and for now it's fine but not sustainable.

From the outside, people would assume we are that fun, loving couple.  It's all a sham.

We were super happy for years and years, until she wasn't and we weren't.

[/quote]

Inform your sexless wife the marriage is open, then make plans (without her) friday night. Join a co-ed volleyball team and go out afterwards for drinks. Accept that DW wants to be your roommate, not your lover. Like you said that is not sustainable [u]for you[/u] (a normal man with normal sexual needs). She is probably fine going decades without sex, which means it is entirely on you to fix this. So the only way to avoid "breaking up the family" is for you to go meet your needs elsewhere. Otherwise, 100% certain divorce, and you know I am right.[/quote]

I see you post here all the time and let me give you real world insight into this:  Yes you are right but no its not that simple.  I would have zero problem having an affair but it just throws a stick of dynamite into a roaring fire.  The marital house is on fire and you are advocating something that will bring in the bulldozer.  Sure, if after all efforts we can't get this back running and she really shows no interest in sex, I will divorce or affair, but your solution isn't so easy as you make it sound.

Plus, if you have ever had an affair, which you haven't, you would know there is a real woman on the other side of this, who has her own needs and feelings.  I am sure they exist, but most female APs don't want to be pumped and dumped.  They want some connection too.[/quote]

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