Reply to When does “Mean Girl” behavior start?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A lot of this is not "mean girl" behavior, it is just behavior and something to be taught is hurtful. It doesn't need to be pathologized, FFS. Excluding/power/what happens when I say x are all normal developmental phases. It doesn't mean they should not be taught from. But adults deeming 3 and 4 year old children as "mean girls" is ridiculous and inappropriate. It is hard when our children get their feelings hurt. I know. I have seen this far more with my son and his male peers than my daughter. But the kids are not being "mean" or bullies, they are being children. [/quote]

It is also misogynistic. I am so tired of hearing people say things like, Oh, you know how girls are, etc. [/quote]

+100. People, every single preschooler does the "not my friend", "you can't come to my birthday party" stuff. This is absolutely developmentally normal and is not mean KID behavior. It is small children having very little control over their lives and learning to use their words to resolve conflicts instead of their bodies. It's GOOD PROGRESS towards constructive conflict resolution. Talk to you kid about how it makes other people feel and how they would feel, but don't over dramatize normal kid stuff.

Consistently picking on a specific child or the princess dress/superhero shirt clique behavior is different. That's ostracizing a particular child in a group environment and should not be allowed. But kids resolving a fight with threats to disinvite from their birthday? NBD at all.[/quote]
+1 million, especially the FFS and the misogynist aspect of it.  I am SO done with this nonsense.[/quote]

I really don't like it when parents of girls label their bratty kids as "sassy". It's not sassy, it's rude and mean and if my son acted like that I'd set him straight.

I realize we're talking about 3 year olds here and my comment is more in line with a child a little older but same still stands. Stop celebrating bratty behavior by labeling it sass. [/quote]

Did you even read the replies you're quoting? Nobody is talking about "sass" and the replies are explaining that ALL KIDS, girls and boys, use verbal threats like not being friends or coming to the birthday party as tools in their very limited toolbox of conflict resolution. If a kid is saying the same thing to the same other kid over and over and is constantly making the other kid upset without expressing remorse, then that may be learned behavior from an older sibling. But friends one day, not friends the next, friends again the day after is not bratty, sassy, or bullying. It's just preschool kids being preschool kids. Read a book or talk to a teacher.[/quote]

I’m the PP who posted about Larla who excludes and picks a kid as her favorite and lies. I agree that all kids say “you’re not my friend.” But some kids take it much further.  [/quote]

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