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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m a nanny and worked for a family like this through their divorce. Dad felt that mom was wasting his money and wouldn’t pay because he believed it was all unnecessary.

Doctor bills: mom preferred a more expensive holistic doctor to treat the kid’s chronic asthma, so dad refused to pay.  Dad did not seek alternatives that were less expensive, did not make any appointments or manage any treatments, and in fact did not even give them meds during overnights, leading to at least one asthma attack.

The kid was diagnosed with autism.  Dad didn’t believe that autism is real, so he refused to pay for any therapy, tutoring, medication, etc.

Dad didn’t care about extracurriculars so he didn’t pay for them.[/quote]

Not parents were neglectful.  Mom should have taken child to a regular doctor.  It doesn't sound like child had real medications and you cannot blame Dad for not giving holistic medications.  Dad may have not been allowed to do the appointments or anything else per the court order.  If Dad only had 1 over night a week there may not have been time.  The real issue is why didn't you take the child to the doctor appointments and schedule them as needed if you were caring for the child.

If mom got child support, most of that should be included.[/quote]

The holistic doctor prescribed real meds.  She just also suggested things like supplements that dad disagreed with, which is fine, but again he had the time and the legal right to seek other medical care but his preferred plan was for his child to not need anything so he just refused to acknowledge any needs.  Dad was entitled to 3 nights per week, he just never actually took them.  Week after week he canceled time with his kid or just no-showed.  As for it being my responsibility to seek a cheaper doctor for the children, a) it’s not my money and b) I have no legal right to disagree with mom.  Dad disapproved of her chosen course of action, did nothing to find alternatives and refused to contribute even a nominal amount to the kid’s doctor bills.[/quote]

Cheaper doctor - no, you take the child to the doctor that takes the insurance.  Dad was probably not allowed to seek other options as he was not the custodial parent and only had visitation.  If Dad paid child support, he was contributing.  Mom had custody so she was neglectful.  Dad should not have to give fake medicine to a child if he is not comfortable.  Mom clearly had enough money if she could afford housing, car, and nanny and pay out of pocket for holistic medicine.[/quote]

Again, you are trying really hard to justify but believe it or not, some dads are just bad parents.  Dad had 50/50 custody on paper, with an on-paper schedule that included 3 overnights over the weekend and a midweek dinner.  Dad was not interested in spending and time with his kids so eventually mom took him to court because she couldn’t afford to pay for childcare for all the hours she was responsible for AND all the hours he was responsible for.  In court, she offered him full-time custody (because she knew he would never take it).  He said that it wasn’t in the best interest of the child and refused full custody.  The judge easily saw through it.  I had to go to court and testify—it was a mess.  I also find it interesting that you are so fixated on the holistic doctor (who took insurance btw), but you conveniently forget that dad also refused to acknowledge that his kid had autism.  The kid had an IEP through the schools for his issues but dad just said “Oh he’s fine; he never acts up with me.”—no shit, dad never had him longer than 24-hours and the kid watched tv or played video games and ate whatever he wanted.  Of course he’s well-behaved.  Dad never showed up for a single PTC, IEP meeting, doctor appointment with ANY doctor, therapy session, etc.  I worked there since the kid was born until he was 8 (divorced when he was 5) and I got a front row seat to the whole shitshow.

Side bar, your nanny knows a lot more about you than you think.[/quote]

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