Reply to not going to bar mitzvah, send gift?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For the PPs who think it is weird that the dad of the boy becoming a Bar Mitzvah invited a work friend...  my dad died recently and at the shiva several of his work friends came up to me and told me they still remember how much fun they had at my brother's bar mitzvah and how nice it was to be invited.  All these men were in their 70s and I definitely wasn't fishing around for them to say this (I had forgotten all about it).  My dad was a science professor and a lot of his friends were from other countries with few (if any) Jews. So I get that makes it a bit different as compared to here where it might be seen as just one more obligation - but I would still hope that people would not see the invitation as a "gift grab" but instead as an invitation to share a major family moment with those near and dear to us -- including our friends from work.

[And I totally agree that this multiples of 18 thing is overblown on this message board!!!][/quote]

This is totally different, very warm and they sound like close friends.

OP has been invited to a money grab. It’s like inviting people to your wedding that you’ve never met. Even when your parents send you that list of their friends they’d like you to invite, the standard is that you’ve met them at least several times.[/quote]

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