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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We were in your shoes five years ago.

We  changed the way we approached the situation by accepting weed/vaping/drinking was beyond our control. We confiscated and expressed our concern, but did not punish. Instead of always being upset with him, we tried to emphasize our love for him even though it was very difficult at times. We encouraged him with ways to manage the ADHD w/o the meds and really tried to show compassion when he found himself in messes because of it instead of being angry with his carelessness which was really the ADHD. With the sleep/eating/exercie habits,  I tried to encourage better habits by reminding him and encouraging him, but I don't think it changed much.
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How’s he doing now? [/quote]

Doing great in college. Nicotine vaping has stopped. Still using weed, but it seems to be more social, not daily. Our relationship is much better, I think the separation made us appreciate each other more.  Has had repeated episodes of depression, but he is much more proactive about seeking therapy. [/quote]

That’s great.  As parents, we are more inclined to this approach. I just can’t do the whole drug test, punishment thing for good or for bad.  With his mental health concerns, and we’ve had suicide ideation, I try to keep lines of communication open.  There are some other health reasons for this need for communication/openness too that I can’t go into as too self identifying.  Glad he’s on a better path! Thanks for responding [/quote]

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