Reply to What grade would you give your parents and what’s the worst things they did

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[quote=Anonymous]My childhood had so much chaos, it's difficult to grade. My biological father died when I was 3, so I have no memories of him. I was told by my mother that he was a very good man, so hopefully he was an A.

If I could grade from where my memory begins, I would give my mother an A in intent and a D in execution. As a single mom, she seemed to do well for awhile- I remember being happy. Then she joined a cult like faith and met the man that would be my stepfather 5 weeks later. He had 3 boys and we all lived together in a trailer. It was your typical poverty childhood, with the good parts- I learned to cook and value real food from our garden, homemade bread, etc. The bad was 5 years of abuse from my srepbrothers, bullying at school, and absolutely no advocates in my young life. I never once felt I could talk to anyone at home. It was a sad thing, because my mom was funny, loving, and calm- but she was so entrenched in her new marriage and faith, she didn't notice her lonely daughter with bruises or how much I tried to spend my days in the woods or locked in my room with books.

When I was a teen and misbehaving a bit, her church proceeded to have "talks" with me that were "tell us what you did with this boy, in detail" instead of " do you need help?" . My family failed me by not asking me if anything was wrong- I would have told them if I felt it was safe. Instead, I was punished and restricted, after years of sexual and physical abuse. 
So they get an F and a D for apathetic neglect.

My stepfather was a mild guy that told dumb jokes, but he also liked to beat my brother with a belt. I don't recall him ever beating his own children, who were much worse and were beating my brother and I up almost daily.

I told my mother everything when my own daughter was 2. She never apologized. We talk occasionally, but it is like talking to a distant cousin. I've mourned the mother I could have had my whole adulthood, and struggle with the regret and guilt.

However, I am close with my own grown daughter. I tried hard to learn from my childhood and become a kind person.

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