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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you are being too sensitive. Your mother-in-law's actions may have been a little awkward, but she is trying to tell you it's ok to feed formula if you need it. And it is ok. It is also ok to press through to breastfeeding even if you face challenges. You do what works for you and your baby. Full stop.

But, I understand why your MIL felt the need to take that step. Although our society still has a ways to go to support breastfeeding (especially in public), many in the medical establishment have swung entirely the other direction. I know this because I had to formula feed for medical reasons and finding information about bottle feeding was a nightmare. All the materials I got from our pediatrician, from our baby books, etc., include pages and pages and pages of information on how to breastfeed and maybe a paragraph or two on bottle feeding. (News flash! Bottle feeding comes with challenges too!) The resource gap between the support provided to breastfeeding moms versus that provided to bottle feeding moms is STARK. Even now, when our second child is approaching 6mos, I still can't get good information on when to start solids because the AAP recommendation is exclusive breastfeeding until 6mos. But our pediatrician told us that was because the AAP wants to press moms to breastfeed, and not because that's necessarily when it's a good idea to start solids. (We ended up starting early in order to ensure we could do early exposure to peanuts.) It really is shocking how hard it is to get good info as a bottle feeding mom.

This well-meaning (and in some cases appropriate) push to make breastfeeding the norm comes with many emotional costs for moms, especially for those who can't or don't want to breastfeed. I cried for months when I learned I would not be able to breast feed and lots of other moms feel the same way. I used to feel shame when feeding my baby in public, for fear that I would be judged for bottle feeding (and I was). People have actually yelled at me. Strangers!

That is why your MIL did what she did. Honestly, she sounds like a peach to me. You're lucky to have a MIL who cares for you like this. If it's your goal to breastfeed for however long as makes sense to you, and you are seeking support to help you overcome challenges, perhaps the best thing to do is tell your MIL that you really appreciate what she's trying to do but that you aren't ready to give up breastfeeding yet and that you'd love it if she could be there for you while you work through it.[/quote]

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